


Galaxy Hide and Seek

by GalileoSunshine



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Space, F/F, Pining, Science Fiction, Space Flight, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-06-23 02:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15596112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalileoSunshine/pseuds/GalileoSunshine
Summary: Dia wants to fly away, see the stars, and find the one who truly understands her. But maybe, the one she's been searching for was by her side all along.





	1. Seeking

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based off the AZALEA song of the same name. Please do listen to it and read the lyrics!

“Perhaps… I was not born on this Earth.”

Dia spoke and let her words travel up into the sky. It was simply one of her mindless musings, a moment when she let her heart speak instead of her head. She didn’t mean for anyone to respond to them. Eventually, the sound of her voice was lost in the sea of twinkling lights and the darkness between them.

The girl next to her laughed and responded anyways.

“What does that mean, Dia? You _were_ born on Earth.”

“I mean, the _real_ me.”

Kanan only looked at her strangely.

“Or, who I’m _meant_ to be. I’m meant to be among the stars.”

Kanan sighed, ever the realist. “Keep dreaming, Dia.”

Normally Kanan’s words were enough to pull her back down from the stars. Kanan was her rock, solid and sturdy, her anchor so to speak, if one were to use such archaic words. No ship had anchors anymore, they weren’t needed for the places they were going, out in space. But that’s what Kanan was to her, an anchor. Kanan grounded her.

But out in the junkyard of her family’s repair business, far from the urban lights obscuring the night sky, and sitting atop a broken space freighter a hundred feet above the ground, Dia has never felt so close to the stars. It was as though, if she just reached out her hand, she could touch them. Here, it was harder to pull Dia back to the ground.

“They call to me, Kanan – the stars. See how they sparkle, and pulse their light? Like beacons.” And Dia did reach out her hand, trying to make contact with the pinpricks in the distance. “I’m not meant for this place. I’m meant to be among them.”

 “Stars don’t call, Dia. They don’t have voices.”

And curiously, instead of disputing it further, Dia gave her friend a knowing smiled, as though she’d had this exact same dialogue before, with herself perhaps.

“Yes, you’re right. So perhaps, it’s not the stars that call me, but some _one_. A person.”

 

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

Dia’s family, the Kurosawa’s, were the richest among the merchants of the trading outpost on Earth. Perhaps it was because they sold and rented out ships. After all, a ship was the most essential piece of craft needed for space travel. Every other trading business relied on them. The Kurosawa house made a fortune in quite literally selling trade itself. And as their heir, Dia was expected to inherit the family business one day…not to mention all that wealth.

But Dia didn’t want any of it. She chafed under the strict rules and the meetings and the constant need to keep up the Kurosawa house’s “image”. The watchful eyes of their business partners were unrelenting, and moreover, they watched her for any sign of weakness that they can exploit in the future. That was the other, darker side of the business world she hated. The scheming. The sucking up, the flimsy alliances, the bribes, the cheating and backstabbing.

She wanted to run from all of that. She wanted to steal a starship and fly away. But instead, she felt trapped in a maze, running down paths laid out for her, dodging traps and dead ends at the amusement of others.

She voices as much to Kanan, near constantly. It was the subject of many of their midday lunch breaks at school.

“As least you get a bunch of money at the end of it,” Kanan would joke. Dia gave her a scowl back to say how she felt about that. “Ok, sorry. I was just trying to…cheer you up.”

“I know Kanan. I’m just tired of it all.” Dia sighed and slumped against her desk.

“But you can’t just run away y’know,” Kanan continued. “You’d be abandoning your family, the business, all your workers, and their families and children…”

Dia sat up a little to look around her, at her classmates eating lunch, chatting, some hurriedly finishing homework or taking care of tasks for the teacher, and some she could see outside playing ball. It was all so ordinary. None of them were as privileged with wealth as she was. Kanan spoke from their point of view.

“I get that you hate how dirty the business world is, but a lot of the families here depend on yours to support themselves. Including my own.”

Kanan was right, she _would_ be abandoning them. Many of the kids around her were children of families who worked for the Kurosawa’s, or at least, who contracted with them. Without anyone running the business, their families would all be left without jobs, without support.

And it got personal, too. Kanan’s family contracted with the Kurosawa’s to repair their broken ships. If Dia ran away, she’d be abandoning Kanan too. Dia sighed again, in frustration, and in resignation. There really was no escape, huh?

“When did you get so…far-sighted?”

Kanan laughed sheepishly. “You’re the farsighted one, Dia. You’re always looking at stars.”

 

~~~

 

After school, when Dia had finished her homework, her student council work, and dinner with her parents, she’d go visit Kanan as well.

Her mother would be outraged if she ever found Dia hanging around the sweaty, greasy workshops of the Matsuura’s. She’d say it was no place for a dignified member of the Kurosawa family. But that never stopped Dia.

And so, she made her way to said sweaty repair shop. Kanan’s grandfather told her that Kanan was messing about in the junkyard again, and so Dia exited the front building and went around the back.

She passed the docks and landing ports, where all sorts of craft were waiting their turn to be fixed, from the smallest drone to light aircraft to one heavy class space cruiser with the Kurosawa family crest emblazoned on its side. They were all bigger than her by several feet. Staring at all the complicated machinery, Dia appreciated the work that Kanan’s family were employed in. To create something was a much nobler profession than the swindling her family partook in.

Finally, she reached the junkyard, where all the “unsalvageables” were kept, in case their scraps could be used to repair other ships, or otherwise sold elsewhere for their material.

“Kanan?” Dia yelled across the cement field.

After several seconds, a voice answered back. “Over here!”

“ ‘Over here’ isn’t much help,” she muttered. Dia searched among the hulls of broken ships, trying to zero in on Kanan’s voice. It took several minutes, and some more calling after each other, but eventually she found her halfway down the lot.

Kanan slid out from under what looked like a jet, except rounder. The arc of its nose was wider, and its wings were semicircles instead of triangles. It was also mottled, like it was stitched together from different pieces of metal, all in different stages of rust or fade.

Kanan had a funny grin on her face. “Peakaboo,” she said.

“Um, what are you doing?”

“It’s kinda a pet project of mine,” Kanan answered with an embarrassed laugh. She went to scratch her head, and then realized her hands were stained with engine oil. “Ah wait, let me go get cleaned up.”

“No, it’s okay!” Dia interjected. She rather liked seeing Kanan all disheveled after working. It was attractive in her mind…but she quickly shook her head of that thought. “Tell me more about this project of yours.”

“Well, it’s also supposed to be a secret…”

Dia raised an eyebrow, as if to ask, ‘then why show me?’.

“Because it’s finished! You always wanted to see the stars, right? I can take you!”

 

~~~

 

They had to wait another hour or so, before night fell, and the first twinkling lights broke out of the darkness. Then, Kanan jumped atop the fuselage, and helped hoist Dia onto the ship. Together they climbed into the open cockpit, a two-seater in a line. Kanan sat at the front, where the controls were, and Dia sat behind her. Kanan pressed a button to lower the transparent hood and seal them inside.

Dia’s breath felt short as she waited in anticipation. Was it really happening? Was she finally leaving earth? Finally sailing for the stars?

Kanan pressed some more buttons, and the ship’s engines sputtered and hummed to life. Lights flashed along the dashboard, greens and reds and blues. Kanan took the wheel, and bit by bit, she guided the ship out of the junkyard onto a long, clear stretch of road serving as a runway.

Only then did some sense of judgement break through the fog of Dia’s excitement.

“Wait, do you know how to fly this thing?”

“Um, in theory, yeah? I read a manual. I’ve never _actually_ flied a ship though.”

“Oh god, I hope we don’t die.”

“Hey, have some faith in me, will ya?” Kanan gave her a hearty laugh that seemed to calm Dia’s nerves a bit. “You want to see the stars, don’t you?”

Dia’s heart did a flip. She did, so _badly_ , that the very thought of finally being able to do so pushed the problem to the back of her mind. She’d take a mechanic with only a working theory of piloting, if that meant the person was willing to take her along too.

“Step on it,” Dia said.

Kanan grinned and opened the throttle. The ship’s engines whined, and soon they were speeding down the road. Dia gripped her armrests as they got faster and faster. Kanan pressed a button, and along the underside of the aircraft’s wings, a blue light pulsed out, creating artificial lift.

The ship took to the air. It lurched upwards until it pointed at a steep angle to the ground, aiming for the sky. It got faster still, and Dia was pushed into the back of her seat by forces propelling the ship higher and higher. Her breath caught and was pushed to the back of her throat too.

After an eternity, which was probably only a few minutes, the ship slowed, and leveled itself out. Dia was finally able to push herself out of her seat and breathe properly.

Kanan turned around to look at her nervously. “Well, we didn’t blow up.”

“I’m glad of that,” Dia responded. She was still shaking off some of the jitters from their ascent, the adrenaline still pumping in her veins. She looked out the transparent cover of their cockpit, and the blue of the earth met her eyes. She could see the curve of the planet in the horizon, rather than it being a line. It was the most magnificent and breathtaking sight she’d ever seen, and she had only just gotten her breath back.

After a few moments of taking in the view, and being able to actually _see_ the landmasses below them move with the turn of the earth, Dia turned back to Kanan, a pressing question on her mind.

“How high are we?”

Kanan flashed a proud smile. “We’re in the mesosphere, about two hundred thousand feet above the ground. Most jet powered commercial aircraft can only go about fifty thousand feet, and that’s barely breaking the stratosphere! Pretty impressive, don’t ya think?”

Dia nodded her agreement, but still… “Can we go higher? Can we leave the planet?” Her question came out breathlessly, and not because of any jittery nerves. Kanan caught the glint in Dia’s eyes, and the way it almost pleaded. She could feel the force of Dia’s desire boring into her, and Kanan’s smile vanished.

“Sorry, Dia,” Kanan said with a crestfallen face. “This is as high as we can go. Not without better engines and thrusters. But you don’t really get high-grade stuff in a junkyard.”

Dia looked back out the cockpit. To be so tantalizingly close to the reach of space, but unable to get farther, unable to break free… it hurt. She touched the glass of the cockpit’s hood, and the cold bit into her fingertips. She remembered from her aerospace classes: the mesosphere was the coldest place on Earth. How frustratingly ironic that was. It really felt like her heart was freezing over.

“Hey, Dia, are you ok?”

And there was Kanan again, her voice grounding her. Though, being _grounded_ might’ve been the least desirable thing in Dia’s mind, in that moment she really did need the peace and stability that Kanan always brought.

Kanan unstrapped herself and climbed over the pilot’s seat to sit next to Dia. The seat was narrow, and they had to squish in order to fit, but the contact roused Dia from her trance. Kanan was warm and comforting. Warmer still when Kanan wrapped her arms around her.

“There, there, Dia. I’m really sorry.”

Dia shook her head. She shouldn’t be. It wasn’t her fault, really.

“I’m sorry I can’t do more for you.”

At those words, Dia’s mind instantly cleared. That’s right, Kanan did this for _her_. The ship was her own ‘pet project,’ but it was all for her. She built this ship from scraps…just how many days, how many _months_ , must that have taken her? And learning to fly too? All to take her to see the stars. And here she was being an arrogant, ungrateful brat, thinking she deserved more.

“No, _I’m_ sorry. You’ve done more than I could ever ask for, and all I’ve done is complain. I didn’t even say thank you.”

“Awww, it’s okay. I know how much it means to you.”

“No…really. Thank you, Kanan.”

Kanan blushed and hid her face. Meanwhile Dia stayed burrowed into Kanan’s arms and her warmth, letting it calm her and melt the icy crystals stabbing her heart. If she was to be trapped on earth, at least she’d be trapped along with Kanan. The blue haired girl with her laid-back nature and infectious smile made Dia’s days a little more bearable. And she remembered their earlier conversation at school too. There was no way she could just abandon Kanan.

“Hey, Dia,” Kanan whispered, breaking the silence. “You should look up and see the stars. We came all this way after all.” Kanan’s voice had her usual playfulness again.

Reluctantly, Dia looked up. She really didn’t feel like seeing the stars. She didn’t want to feel like they were mocking her, laughing at her abysmal situation. But at Kanan’s nudging, she gave them a look, and when she laid eyes on the stars, she instantly changed her mind.

They were so _close_ , so clear. They were even closer than when they’d climbed that freighter several days ago. And there was so _many_ of them. No matter where she turned, the twinkling lights greeted her. They weren’t laughing at her either. The stars beckoned to her, gently, as they always did, shining like beacons, but this time even more brilliant.

“In this part of the atmosphere, no clouds or weather of any kind exist. The view’s as clear as you can get.”

“They’re beautiful,” Dia whispered. She felt a new surge of hope, and determination. She had made it this far. Someday, she’d go even further.

 

~~~

 

It was late when Dia and Kanan finally returned home. Kanan suggested that Dia sleep over for the night, and after a long conversation on the phone with her parents, which included a lecture about giving proper notice in advance and some less than polite words about her choice in friends, Dia’s parents agreed to let her stay.

Dia emerged from the bath wearing a set of Kanan’s pajamas. They were a bit big on her, but comfortable nonetheless. They also smelled of Kanan, which Dia couldn’t help but think was…nice. Kanan’s room she also found endearing. It was littered with mechanical tools and electrical wiring and parts of gadgets that she’s been tinkering with. All in all, very Kanan.

For that night, a bit of the mess was cleared away to lay out a futon. Unfortunately, Kanan was taking up all the room.

“Kanan, you’re in my spot.”

“What are you talking about? I’m sleeping here.”

“But…your bed…”

Kanan made a _tsk-tsk_ sound with her mouth and spoke in exaggerated formality. “An honored guest from the Kurosawa house sleeping on the floor? I would not have it.”

“You don’t have to treat me like royalty,” Dia said with a roll of her eyes.

“I’m joking, Dia. But still, you’re my guest, and I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.”

“I don’t want you sleeping on the floor of your own house either!”

Kanan gave a little pout, but that soon turned into a devilish grin.

“We could both sleep on the bed?”

Dia regretted saying anything in the first place because she knew that was coming.

Pride and stubbornness were common in the Kurosawa family, it’s like it ran in their blood. Her father said it would help her be a great businesswoman, but it sure as hell gave Dia a lot of problems as well. Like this instance, when Dia knew Kanan was trying to force her to sleep on the bed while she slept on the floor by embarrassing her with the third alternative…and Dia just couldn’t back down.

“F-fine then,” Dia said. She shuffled across the room and got into Kanan’s bed, pulling the covers up so that it covered half her face. A few moments of silence passed. “Well? Aren’t you getting in too?”

“Uh, right. Yeah.”

Dia was facing the wall, so she couldn’t see Kanan, but she felt the other girl’s weight shifting the bed as she slid in next to her.

Dia was hyperaware of everything. She could smell Kanan on the sheets and her pajamas. She could feel the texture of Kanan’s blanket. She could hear Kanan’s breathing, and feel the puffs of air against the back of her head. The temperature of the room seemed very, very warm.

“Dia,” Kanan whispered.

“What?”

“Can we hug?”

“No! That’s…inappropriate!”

Kanan chuckled, and Dia was glad she was facing the other way, because she wouldn’t be able to stand the smirk that was surely on Kanan’s face. They lapsed into silence for several more minutes.

“Dia,” Kanan whispered again.

“What now?”

“Can I ask you something? Or…two things?”

“Yeah, what is it?” At least the conversation, real conversation, would take her mind off those other uncontrollable thoughts.

“Why do you want to travel the stars so badly? To leave Earth?”

Dia froze. She didn’t expect that. It was a very personal thing to her. She wasn’t sure if she could put it into words herself, let alone share the reason with others. But Kanan had built a space ship and learned to fly for her, which Dia still felt a little guilty about, and more than a little undeserving. Out of everyone, Kanan deserved some sort of answer. She turned to stare up at the ceiling, to think.

“I’ve kind of told you already,” Dia began, hesitantly. “Remember when I said, maybe the real me wasn’t born on Earth, that I didn’t belong here?”

Dia felt Kanan nod her head.

“I might not have explained it very well then. I guess, what I was trying to say was…I’ve always felt like no one understands me, _truly_ understands me. Everyone I see around me, going about their daily lives, they can’t understand the position I’m in, since they don’t live my life. I have to run one of the biggest businesses of the galaxy someday! And to them, I’ll always be Dia _Kurosawa_ , and I can’t ever be anything other than Dia _Kurosawa_. I just want to be _me_ , without any labels attached to it. So in the end, I just I want to find someone who can truly understand my heart. It’s not that I hate this planet, because maybe with that person, I might even come to love this planet. But…”

“But…you think that person’s out _there_? In space?”

“I don’t just think. I _know_.”

“How?”

This was the most personal part of it all. Dia again hesitated, but like last time, decided Kanan deserved to know.

“I can hear their voice, calling me.”

“Uh, that was the other thing I wanted to ask. You said that last time too, that some _one_ was calling you. What do you mean?”

“Ok, this might sound kind of weird, but hear me out.” Dia took a deep breath. All or nothing now. “In my dreams, I’m floating among stars, flying past different planets, like a comet. And I hear a voice. It keeps whispering, ‘I’m here,’ over and over again, and I search for the source of that voice, through solar systems and nebulas and star clusters. I think they’re looking for me too.”

Dia paused to test Kanan’s reaction, but Kanan didn’t say anything, so she continued.

“Sometimes the voice is really close. We might have even passed by each other sometimes. But more often than not, it’s really far. We’re playing a game of hide and seek, it seems. I never find them before I wake up, but I know they’re out there. The voice sounds so real, and so…familiar. If I were to search for them for real, outside of my dreams…”

Kanan stayed silent. At first, Dia thought Kanan had fallen asleep, but that wasn’t it. She couldn’t hear the steady breathing that would say she had drifted off. Kanan was _too_  quiet, and too still, like a piece of string pulled taut. Did the story shock her? Dia expected Kanan to laugh at her, to say that it was just a dream, say that no way was there someone out there calling her through…what, telepathy? ‘Get your head out of the stars’ she’d say, like she always did. So why was Kanan so tense?

“Kanan?”

That seemed to rouse her. “Oh, sorry! Um, thanks for telling me.” Then it was Kanan who turned to face the other direction. Dia blinked in confusion. Did she say something that upset her? Dia wanted to ask, but she also felt that would be wrong somehow – insensitive.

In the following silence, Dia started feeling herself drifting off to sleep. Confessing something like that tired her more than she thought it would. Maybe she’ll ask Kanan why she was acting so strange in the morning. In the meantime…sleep.

Just before Dia lost consciousness, she heard Kanan whisper.

“So, when you find that person…what will happen to me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is the start of a long piece based off the Azalea song Galaxy Hide and Seek. Even though it's tagged as sci-fi, I hope there won't be too much sci-fi elements (like explaining parts of spaceships or how space travel is accomplished). I have the rest of the fic planned out too, so hopefully I won't drop this fic for months ahaha....  
> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please look forward to the rest! ^^


	2. Hiding

 

Kanan had always admired Dia from afar.

She was beautiful, with her straight black hair, upturned eyes, and irises like emeralds. Her voice was silk. Every movement of hers was smooth and poised, like she was gliding through water. Kanan could probably write poetry about Dia, even with her monkey brain and wrench. In contrast, Kanan was a bumbling mess, stocky in build, and constantly stained of oil and smelling of engine fumes.

Dia had wealth, background, and influence. Her family could stop ‘working’ and still have enough money to last ten lifetimes. She came from a long line of famous entrepreneurs, and her social contact spanned the galaxy. Meanwhile, Kanan made ends meet with her family. Her heritage wouldn’t show up in any textbooks. And her circle of influence was at most twenty miles out.

Dia was everything Kanan wasn’t. How could she hope to compare?

Dia was an unobtainable jewel, a diamond like her namesake. A flower on a high peak as they said, only to be admired from afar, and never approached. That’s how it should be.

But at the same time…how could she resist?

Dia came to _her_ , the girl from the junkyard. She was always saying things like Kanan was her support, that she can talk to Kanan about anything, that she can be herself around Kanan. Those words made Kanan felt wanted, made her feel _needed_ , made her feel like she could give _some_ thing to the girl who had everything.

But it was a dangerous line she was riding. Kanan couldn’t keep herself away from Dia, but if she got any closer, she was afraid she’d fall hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Dia.

And then, when the time came for Dia to leave her, when Dia headed for the stars, she wouldn’t be able to let Dia go.

 

* * *

 

In the morning, Kanan woke up to something soft and warm between her arms, and something sweet-smelling next to her nose. She nuzzled further into it.

“Kanan, are you finally awake?”

Who was that? Oh, right. Dia. She slept over for the night.

“Kanan, if you’re awake, would you please let go of me?”

Kanan slowly blinked her eyes open. When she finally came to, she realized that somehow, in the night, she had wrapped her arms wrapped around Dia. Kanan’s face was buried into the crook of the other girl’s neck, who was facing the other way.

“Bueeh!?” Kanan quickly disentangled herself. How long were they like that? Kanan wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed or upset. Upset, because she would’ve liked to have been awake to enjoy it longer.

Dia sat up on the bed and stretched.

“Geez, I thought I told you not to hug me.”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to…you were just there, so…I mean, it’s a habit. I mean…!” Kanan stopped herself. She was digging herself deeper she knew, so it was better to stop while she had some semblance of shame left. “Uh, how long were you awake?”

“I was up at six as always. But with you all over me, I couldn’t move until you woke up.” Kanan glanced at the clock on her bedside table. It read 8:34. Two hours. Yikes.

“I’m really sorry…”

“It’s fine,” Dia answered, while brushing through her hair with her fingers. “Not the most entertaining way to spend two hours, but…it’s not like I hated it.”

Kanan barely managed to suppress a blush. That was pretty high praise, coming from Dia. Gosh, the girl had to stop saying things like that, or Kanan was going to get the wrong idea. How was she supposed to take it? What should she say back? ‘ _Want to hug some more then?_ ’ the mischievous part of Kanan’s mind suggested. She told it to shut up. In the end, she didn’t need to come up with some witty retort, because Dia was speaking again.

“By the way, last night…did you say something after we finished talking?”

“Huh?”

“I think I was on the verge of falling asleep, so I wasn’t sure if I actually heard you or not.”

“Uhh….” Kanan tried to think about what happened. Dia was talking about the stars again…but that was normal. Oh yeah, and she mentioned looking for someone…

“I thought I heard you ask something? Something like…what will happen to me?”

It took several seconds before she realized what Dia was talking about. But then it hit her, like loose space debris, or a meteor, the crash sending her hurtling out of control. She had accidentally said her feelings out loud.

Red lights and sirens blared. Her heart pounded in her chest. Her mind went into overdrive. This went against every rule she had set for herself. Inviting Dia to stay over, goading her into sharing the bed, the whole hugging thing, that was stretching the line already. But this?

 _What will happen to me?_ It was more than a question. It was Kanan wanting Dia not to leave her. And that – feeling like she was entitled to some part of Dia, that Dia owed _her_ anything – that was getting too attached to Dia, too close. Closer than she had any right to be.

“Kanan, are you ok? You look a bit pale.”

The ringing in the Kanan’s ears subsided a bit. That’s right, it wasn’t too late yet. Dia said she wasn’t sure if she heard correctly. So maybe Kanan could still salvage the situation. She was good at that – patching up broken things.

“Yeah, sorry, I must still be waking up! And um, I think you misheard? I didn’t say anything like that…”

“Really? You were acting kind of strange too.”

“Well I might’ve been more tired than I thought.”

Dia squinted her eyes in worry. “If you say so…”

“Let’s have breakfast!” Kanan yelled, not giving Dia any time to decide whether to believe her or not. Kanan quickly got up and headed for the kitchen.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. She made breakfast. They chatted over the table. Dia called for some chauffeurs to come pick her up, and then she was gone. And Kanan was glad for it. At this point, she needed to put some distance between them. In more ways than one.

 

~~~

 

Over the next couple of days, Kanan avoided Dia like the plague.

At school, it was somewhat simple.

In their passing periods, Kanan took roundabout ways to class, skirting the hallways that Dia usually took. At lunch time, she made excuses about needing to do extra work or asking their teacher questions about the lesson, and then she hid on the rooftop or in the bathrooms. And even after school, Kanan did her cleaning duty as quickly as she could and rushed home.

It was actually harder to avoid Dia outside of school. After all, Dia was always the one to come to _her_ place, to see all the things she was messing about with in the shop or out in the junkyard.

“Hey gramps,” Kanan said to her grandfather, who was sitting at the front desk. Their repair shop’s ‘office’ also served as a foyer to the rest of the house. “If Dia comes, tell her I’m out on an errand. Shopping or something.”

“Huh, why?”

“Please, can you just do it?”

Reluctantly, her grandfather agreed. Kanan went to hide in her room.

On a different day, Kanan asked him to say that she was helping out with ship repairs. And on another occasion, Kanan pretended to be sick. She even skipped school for the next two days to make it believable.

“What’s going on with you two?” her grandfather asked, as she passed by the front desk again to give him a new excuse. Kanan stopped in her tracks. Well, she knew that it’d come up eventually. “Are you having a fight?”

“No, gramps,” Kanan sighed. “If we were, she’d be avoiding me too.”

“Hmm.”

At that moment, the front door jingled, and Dia decided to make an appearance. Kanan yelped, and in a mad scramble, she ducked behind the counter of the desk, putting her finger to her lips to beg her grandpa not to reveal her location.

“Hi, Matsuura-san,” Kanan could hear Dia say. “Is Kanan free this afternoon?”

“Well, I…” Kanan’s grandfather stammered. He wasn’t very good with thinking on his feet, and without an excuse of Kanan’s he was stuck for an answer. His eyes briefly met Kanan’s. “I don’t know what she’s up to, I haven’t seen her around.”

“Oh, ok,” Dia said, seemingly disappointed.

“Maybe I can get her for you though? What do you need?” Matsuura said. Kanan’s head snapped up and glared at him from beneath the desk. She shook her head frantically in protest.

“Well, at school we have an exam soon, so I just figured Kanan might need a little help catching up. Y’know, since she’s missed some days due to being sick.”

“Well that’s very thoughtful of you!” Matsuura replied, nudging Kanan with his knee. Kanan punched him back. “Why don’t you go wait in her room? I’ll send her down shortly.”

“Thank you so much!” Dia said. Kanan heard her footsteps recede as she moved away.

Finally out of earshot, Kanan popped out from her hiding place.

“What the heck gramps!?”

“Kanan, you told me you two weren’t fighting.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Then you’re the only one who’s running away. You have to face these things.”

Kanan steamed in place. She wanted to give a witty retort back, but it wouldn’t change the fact that what her grandfather said was true, so she held her tongue. It wasn’t fair though. If she were to point fingers, Kanan felt like she wasn’t the only one running away. Dia wants to run away too. Away from the planet. Away from her life. 

“Come on, Dia is taking the time to do something nice for you,” her grandfather’s words cut through her thoughts. “The least you can do is pay her the courtesy of seeing her.”

After a moment’s silence, Kanan sighed. “Fine, ok.” She headed to her room.

 

~~~ 

 

When Kanan first appeared, Dia hardly said a word about her recent absence, besides saying that she was glad Kanan was better from her sickness. They got straight into their schoolwork after that, no chit chat or other pleasantries. Dia treated school like her business, direct and straight to the point.

Kanan was grateful. It made it easier to ignore precisely what she didn’t want to talk about. She didn’t have to make up any explanations for her weird behavior. And before she knew it, she had fallen into their old rhythm, Dia being bossy and directing the course of their “study plan,” and Kanan laughing and going along for the ride.

“Do you need help again?” Dia asked, looking up from her own work. They were well into their study session by then. “You’ve been staring at that problem for a while.”

“Maybe a little help.” Kanan tried to give a convincing laugh.

“Ok, let’s see…” Dia scooted closer to where Kanan was sitting, looking at the homework problem in question. Kanan couldn’t help stare, as Dia tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and as her brow furrowed in concentration, and as her shoulder almost bumped Kanan’s own.

Was Dia wearing lavender perfume?

 _Get a grip, girl._ Kanan thought, shaking her head vigorously. _Distance_ , she reminded herself. She scooted away slightly.

“You use this formula here,” Dia said and flipped a page in their textbook to show her. “Substitute this for this…and then…” She scribbled some notes in the margins of Kanan’s paper.

“Oh, I see!” Kanan feigned. “Thanks, Dia!”

“You’re welcome, but you should be able to do all this! Surely all that time fixing spaceships should amount to _some_ thing. Use that engineering brain of yours!”

Kanan scratched the back of her head and laughed again. “I can screw some nuts and bolts and do some wiring, but it doesn’t mean I get all this theoretical stuff.”

Dia simply tutted and scooted away, returning to her own work.

In truth, Kanan wasn’t as in the dark as she made it seem. Her days of working in the shops _had_ taught her quite a lot about materials science, mechanical design, not to mention the seemingly physics-breaking technology that allowed ships to travel galactic distances in any reasonable length of time. Their high school calculus just couldn’t compare.

But she’d never let Dia know, because then she wouldn’t come over to help tutor.

A sudden thought then hit her. If she were to show her knowledge of differential equations and multi-variable calculus, show how far ahead she already was compared to their school material, then maybe _she_ could tutor _Dia_. The thought was so amusing she couldn’t help but grin. Why didn’t she think of this sooner?

“Kanan, focus!” Dia’s voice sounded, sterner than before.

“Sorry, sorry!” Well, if she did need Dia’s help for something, it would definitely be in self-discipline. Dia had an inhuman ability to work for hours straight without a break, without losing focus. Kanan put her pencil to paper, and several minutes passed in silence as they continued to work on their homework.

“Hey Kanan,” Dia said, without looking up from her notebook.

“What’s up?”

“Has something been bothering you the last couple days? You’ve been spacing out a lot.” Dia stopped her writing, tapping the point of her pen several times. “Also, you seem to be avoiding me.”

Kanan’s heart skipped a beat. It seemed like Dia wasn’t so ready to move past things after all.

“Oh…have I? I didn’t mean to…” That was a blatant lie. Dia probably knew it was a lie too. Was she that obvious? No, it was just Dia. Of course, she would notice.

“If there’s something on your mind, I’ll listen.” Dia looked into her eyes, and it was like being jabbed in the heart. “I’m always venting to you about…the business. But you can talk to me too, you know.”

Kanan’s heart wrung itself like a rag. That’s right, she was always the one to hear _Dia_ out – not just about business, but also her ramblings about stars and finding her destined…lover, or whatever. Kanan did that because she cared. Now here Dia was, showing kindness, saying she’d hear _Kanan_ out, all while her heart was set on somebody else, somebody she dreamt up in a fantasy.

It hurt, and she was almost mad at Dia, but she knew that was unfair, because Dia meant well. Still, Kanan couldn’t help it. And just like their sleepover night, her feelings started spilling out.

“I just don’t want to get in your way,” she mumbled. Her pencil made meaningless scratches on paper. “When you finally fly away, I don’t want to be the one holding you back.”

“What are you talking about?” Dia frowned. And then, after a pause, a look of realization came to Dia’s face. “This about the other night, isn’t it? When I slept over? You _did_ say something, didn’t you?”

“Y’know what, forget it. It’s nothing!” Kanan’s face flushed, and she stared at the ground.

“But…”

“I said forget it! We should be doing homework anyways.”

The heat from Kanan’s face made everything hazy. She felt like…like the radiator of an overheating engine, and any moment she might break down. She swallowed forcefully, driving her feelings back down into her stomach so they didn’t come up and out her throat as pointless words – words that would simply pass over Dia’s head.

“It’s really nothing, ok? Don’t worry about it.”

“Kanan…”

“Maybe we can talk about it some other time.”

Dia didn’t press any further. “I’ll always be here for you, ok?”

Kanan suppressed a sigh. _Not always_ , she thought grimly, as her eyes drifted up to the sky.

 

~~~

 

Kanan didn’t bring it up again. And Dia didn’t ask either. Dia simply didn’t care enough to ask, was how Kanan took it.

But at least Kanan stopped avoiding Dia. Instead, she distracted herself by working on the spaceship.

Every day that Dia came to visit, they spent out in the junkyard. Dia watched and helped every so often with what she could, which mainly involved passing over tools. Kanan did most of the technical work.

There was a new (well, 'new') ion propulsion system that her family recently scrapped from an old satellite that Kanan wanted to fit onto the ship. The new thruster installed would allow them to leave the atmosphere. Although, it’d be like fitting pieces from two different jigsaw puzzles together. And usually Kanan would’ve enjoyed the engineering challenge, but her heart wasn’t as into it as before. It was hard to work on a project when every time she looked at the ship, it was a reminder that Dia only wanted to use it to get away from Earth. Away from her.

 _No, stop thinking that!_ She told herself. Dia wasn’t _hers_ to keep, she never was.

But even if it pained her to look at the ship, she couldn’t _not_ work on it – not with Dia there watching her, _expecting_ her. So, she worked on the ship, attached the new ion thrusters, even upgraded the engine, and enhanced the stabilizers so they wouldn’t be flattened into a pancake when the ship accelerated to 90,000 miles an hour.

It took nearly a week of work.

When she was finally finished, Kanan stepped back from the ship, looking at it from a distance. Every muscle of hers ached, and her head felt like a fried circuit-board. But Kanan also felt like a proud mother. The ship was beautiful, even with its patchy, rusted metal and random parts jutting out in awkward spots.

Dia thought so too.

“Kanan, the ship looks amazing!” she said from the side.

“Yeah...she does.”

Dia raced forward to touch it. She laughed with a childlike innocence as she circled the craft, admiring all the new parts that were installed. Meanwhile Kanan’s heart did leaps and flips. It was cute to see Dia so excited.

“How far can she go now?”

Kanan ran some calculations quickly in her head. “Probably the moon, in a couple of hours–” Kanan stopped as she soon as saw the look Dia was giving her. “No! Nononono, we’re not doing that now. I haven’t even taken her for a test drive yet! What if I forgot to screw in a lug nut tight enough? We could really blow up this time!”

Dia ran right up to Kanan and grabbed her hands. “I trust you Kanan. Please?”

Kanan gulped. Now that wasn’t fair at all. And Dia had that gleam in her eyes again, the one that said she was already sailing past the solar system, headed for the Milky Way. She was well beyond taking no for an answer.

“Ugh, fine…”

“Oh, thank you!” Dia hugged her and then ran to the ship, already climbing up the sides to get in. Kanan followed after, and when she made it into the cockpit, Dia was already buckled.

Kanan settled into the pilot’s seat. “Don’t make this a habit, you hear? Don’t you come every night asking to go to the moon.” And off to the side, so Dia wouldn’t hear, she mumbled, “I don’t think I can afford all that fuel.”

Dia heard her. “I’ll pay for it! Now let’s go!”

Kanan rolled her eyes, but she was smiling despite herself. She pressed the button for ignition.

 

~~~

 

The trip was nothing like before.

The new thrusters worked far better than Kanan expected, the gut-wrenching acceleration from their launch unlike any rollercoaster. And when they broke the atmosphere and the ship started coasting, the feeling of zero gravity was almost addicting, making them both giddy with excitement.

They passed the travel time exploring their weightless surroundings, playing around with floating pens, and globulous bits of water they let out from a bottle. Meanwhile, their view of the moon got closer and closer, until it was no longer that round, gray circle one saw in photographs, but a real physical object before their eyes.  

Finally, they touched down on the moon’s surface, guided gently by Kanan’s controlling hands. And as soon as they did, Dia released her restraints and rushed to the glass of the cockpit’s hood, once again touching her fingertips against the glass and staring out at the expanse of space with a longing that made even Kanan’s heart ache.

“They’re _so_ close!” Dia whispered, her mouth staying open even after her sentence finished. And Kanan was once again reminded of how much Dia loved the stars. She paid no attention to the moon’s surface around them. She was too busy staring at the ball of white that was the sun, and the other pinpricks of light pushing through the darkness above them.

“Uh huh,” Kanan agreed. But she wasn’t looking at the stars. She was looking at Dia’s eyes, and the soft twinkling reflected in them, and wishing that she was reflected in those eyes as well. She wished Dia would look over at her from time to time.

“I wonder when I’ll get to see them, right in front of me,” Dia pressed her forehead against the glass and whispered. A quiet plea. A prayer. “I wonder if I’ll ever meet that person. I wonder if they’re out there right now, staring back.”

And then Kanan couldn’t stand it anymore. She could be snide sometimes with her remarks, when talking to Dia. But she never used that sarcasm to be mean. Still, Kanan could only take so much of Dia overlooking her, and at that moment Kanan felt her frustration finally reaching a boiling point, bursting open.

“Not with this piece of junk,” she grumbled.

Dia turned her head curiously. “What did you say?”

Kanan spoke again, louder this time.“This ship. It’ll never take you close enough to the stars. No matter how much I fix up this ship, it’s not going to happen.”

“Kanan, what are you saying?” 

“I’m saying, you need to stop fantasizing! You know what the closest star is? Alpha Centauri. And do you know how far away it is? Four light years! Even with our top speed, it’ll take more than thirty thousand years to reach it! You’ll never get there in your lifetime!”

Dia’s face was a mix of surprise and fear. Surprise, from Kanan’s brutal honesty, and fear, of what had brought about such an outburst from Kanan. But Kanan kept going, no matter how much it’d hurt. Kanan’s voice was a shout now, crying out all her pent-up feelings. 

“For galactic travel, we need warp engines, Alcubierre drives, dark matter converters! Do you think I’ll ever get that in my family’s junkyard? No! All the big businesses keep that fancy stuff for themselves! I can't help you!”

“Why are you saying this, Kanan?” Dia said, her voice wavering.

“Because you need to stop looking at stars and start looking at what’s right in front of you! You have a business to run in the not-so-far future, right? You need to start thinking about that! And your destined love or whatever? It’s fine to want that, but you need to stop looking for it _out there_ and start looking at the people around you!”

 _Including me_ , Kanan thought. Look at what’s right in front of you, she said. And who was that, _right now_? She heaved a heavy sigh, wishing Dia would realize.

“Dia. You need stop spending your life chasing stars.”

The following silence between them seemed to have physical weight. Even with the moon’s decreased gravity, Kanan found it hard to move, hard to breathe. Dia’s face was frozen. She had set her expression from her previous shock to one of stoic stillness – a practiced look she reserved for bluffing in business dealings to conceal a disadvantage. But that sort of composure, which she usually didn’t need to bother with around Kanan, could only mean that Dia was anything but composed on the inside.

“Take me back,” Dia finally said, her voice low and heavy.

And as if she were in slow motion, or as if someone else was controlling her actions from afar, Kanan grabbed the controls of the ship, and started the engine.

The trip back was silent. As they got closer and closer home, Kanan regretted her words more and more. She had basically told Dia that she’d never achieve her dreams. That was almost like spitting in her face.

Facing forward the entire time, Kanan couldn’t see Dia’s face. But she didn’t need to in order tell that she was upset. Maybe even angry. She wouldn’t be surprised if Dia was mad at her, though it’d be the first time. And maybe the last. Kanan wondered if Dia even wanted to be her friend anymore. They’d been together since childhood, and for such a long relationship to end like this…

Kanan knew, had always known, that she’d never have Dia’s love. But now, she might not even have her friendship, either. And it was all her fault.

After they arrived back at the junkyard, Dia called for a chauffeur to come take her home. She left without another word.

Kanan, on her part, retreated to her room, and spent the night crying into her pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waaah, sorry for the long wait!  
> School started, and then I got occupied with another writing project, and then more irl stuff came up... Anyways, I hope this chapter was worth the wait! Exploring Kanan's side of the story, her feelings and struggling to keep those feelings contained, was something I wanted to do from the start. Dia too, is finally getting her wake up call. and more realizations will come. 
> 
> Well, the ending of this story is getting near. I hope you look forward to it, and thanks for sticking around! ^^


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